Tuesday, February 19, 2013

It Ain't No Book Learnin'

Photo Credit: Serene David
Going from city girl to trainer's wife has taught me more than I ever could have imagined. Some of it is useful, some funny, a little is tongue in cheek and all of it is treasured. Off the top of my head I have learned:


  • When a colt is born you have to do three things almost every time:
  1.  Check for a healthy placenta
  2.  Apply iodine to the umbilical stump
  3.  Give the little tike an enema (and stand back)
  • Automatic waterers have a float and a float arm. Horses will play with the waterer and bend the float arm to flood your barn.
  • The best constructed barns have central line drains for when they are flooded
  • Horses have iffy eyesight and two very separate sides of their brain. What they saw coming from one direction means nothing coming from the other and it could get you killed.
  • Foxtail doesn't belong in horse hay. It has tons of stickery-sticker things that get stuck in their mouths and they won't eat.
  • An outdoor hydrant can freeze and burst if the little arm thing isn't put all the way down
  • Vinyl fencing looks nice but is useless around horses
  • Vinyl fencing is hella expensive
  • Horses can recognize people and they do have preferences. There are people they remember for good things and people they remember for bad things.
  • The softest part of a horse is their nose. It is also one of the most sensitive parts.
  • Some horses love to get treats.
  • Some horses should never be given treats because they will become extremely obnoxious
  • Horse show people are not as crazy as dog show people
  • Horse show people are crazy ;)
  • I am a horse show people
  • Kids can eat horse poo and not get sick
  • Dirt builds amazing immunities
  • Riding lawn mowers are a little like tractors
  • Riding lawn mowers are nothing like tractors
  • Being allergic to hay means mowing the lawn is not a good idea.
  • Being allergic to dust means you married for love
  • The eyes of a new born filly hold all the answers to every question you ever had
  • The best stars are seen where there are no street lights
  • A horse whinny can sound like a baby crying
  • Cows lowing is comforting but the soft blow from a horse on your face is heaven
  • Horses love to watch another horse escaped and running free.
  • One escaped horse is a predecessor to many escaped horses
  • Catching an escaped horse is an art form and not for the impatient
  • Horses think humans are HUGE
  • Horses are HUGE
  • A scared horse that thinks you are huge will try to climb in your lap for comfort
  • Horses don't fit in my lap - Horses of any size!
  • Halter breaking is about who lasts the longest
  • Keep their heads from smacking the ground when you are halter breaking a colt.
  • Cotton ropes will burn your hands and make them feel like plastic
  • People who love working with horses have amazing hearts
  • Trainers are tougher than they look
  • Trainers are softer than they let you see
  • The well pit makes a good tornado shelter
  • Dead snakes in the well pit make horse trainers squeal like girls
  • More than 8 people and 4 animals will fit in the well pit when necessary
  • Horse shows are great places to raise a family
  • Community is still alive in the rural US
  • Neighbors will help when you call
  • You have to ask for help when you need it
  • Quiet doesn't mean things are broken, it means things are just right
  • Buffalo may be necessary for working horses but make sure your gates are strong
  • Escaped buffalo are a pain in the patoot
  • Not everyone will help you gather up your escaped buffalo
  • Being alone is fine if you aren't lonely
  • Leaning your body into a horse is good for every ill
  • Horses will keep every secret you whisper
  • Horses hearts are larger than their brains
  • A horse doesn't need to be smart to love you 
There is so much more but I think that'll do for now. And I've only been here for 17 years...